he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
