so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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