i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
