so that wasnt chicken after all
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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