real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
