This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
