are you still at the devil's house?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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