all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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