What tipped you off? The sombrero?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
