Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
is that a dick in a sweater?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
