I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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