The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
