He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
