last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
