McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
