Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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