I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
