Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
