I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
