How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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