i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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