Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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