I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My ass is underappreciated
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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