Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
