I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
