I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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