No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
