IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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