I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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