Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
