The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
