So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
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This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
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Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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