Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
