...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
