no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
