So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
As shirtless as possible
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
