If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
