Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
