Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This house was built for laser tag.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
