She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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