She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
