I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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