too bad you live with your parents still
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
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i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
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Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.