just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
