Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.