Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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