it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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