We're like a lot better than the average bears
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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