Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize