I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
