Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
