THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
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