I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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