Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
