I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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