We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
