im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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