Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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