Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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