Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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