So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
