Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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