I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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