somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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