if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
