Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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