Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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