just come out here and I will go home with you...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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