We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
